Monday, November 23, 2009

Only alpha brides need apply

Trust me when I say this but wedding planning is the most stressful event you will ever come across in life and I'm not even planning it! In fact it's so stressful that I try not to think about it most of the time. Deciding about which sari you're going to wear on the most anticipated day of your life where you'll be stared at by lots of people (400 in my case) is not my idea of fun. Neither is figuring out which jewelery matches which outfit, the kind of decor, photographer, videographer, music, and the list goes on. This is all after you've already picked the venue and hopefully a man you want to spend the rest of your life with.

I haven't even mentioned the food because the food is one of those categories you don't even want to get caught whispering especially if you're having a huge wedding. With the food for every single event (three in my case) comes really complicated questions like how many vegetarians? who's allergic to fish? who's turned vegan since we last met them and which cousin currently believes in only inhaling food rather than actually eating it? who drinks wine and how many prefer vodka? if you haven't considered eloping at this point then, you may want to consider whatever bridge in your city of choice has the highest suicide rate.

I understand that for girls who've had detailed dreams of their wedding days since they were little girls, this seems like the perfect opportunity to make all those dreams come true and to finally take charge by micro-managing every aspect of the wedding. however, that is so not me. i did what any sensible girl would do. i passed on the planning torch to my mom (i couldn't thank her enough) and decided to go hunting for options that were a little less challenging than wedding planning. Exactly one month before my wedding, I found my perfect target - the Microsoft Certification tests!

Just in the midst of wedding planning chaos, when most girls would be busy pulling their hair out, I decided that this is the perfect opportunity for me to get certified. So, without taking any training classes or studying (actually went out the night before) or freaking out about it, I calmly went and took the Microsoft Sharepoint Certification test and even got a perfect score! I knew it had to be easier than wedding planning. In fact, it was so much easier than the stress of wedding planning that I'm trying to genuinely see if I can fit in more tests between now and the date of my wedding. I am so serious when I say this - give me all the tests, whatever you got! I'd rather do computational math and physics at the same time with a blindfold on while hopping on one leg than plan another wedding.

For all you wedding planners out there, consider this a huge compliment. For my mom, she's a blessing as I do not think this wedding could possibly even take place without her - thank you! For all you super brides out there (who picked out their place settings at the tender age of twelve) responsible for the state of things, I have some words for you!